Day by day

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
Gives unto each day what He deems best,
Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

https://www.hymnal.net/en/hymn/h/713

I love the old hymns. They have so much meaning and encouragement that is relevant to my every day. We have been home for 2.5 weeks. Each day is new and each day is survived. There is so much brokenness in adoption. Culture shock, loss of ALL that is familiar, language issues. Any time one is taken away from what they know and must live a new life, there is trauma. How one handles the trauma is as unique as each person who experiences it. 

We are taking each day at a time and figuring out how this new family of 5 is adjusting. We are coming up on christmas break, hopefully this will be a good thing and we have more time to spend as a family. Holidays are never easy for one who has gone thru trauma. We will see how Joy does and adjust accordingly.

Looking back at our last few weeks, i can see how emotional everything has been. Adoption is never easy. We are now on a road that is brand new for all of us. We love this little girl as if she has always been here. The problem is, she doesn't know it! I am praying that sooner rather than later she will see just how much she is loved by so many. I praying soon she will see how she is loved by the most important person in the universe. God! We pray every day for her to see him. That he will open her heart to this new knowledge of Him. 

Trust takes time. We know that she may not love us or even see us as family for a long, long time. We are willing to wait. It is hard when she doesnt understand that some things we don't allow are for her safety.  But we continue to lead and guide her thru this new life in our family. There are day to day glimses of what things may be like in years to come. We do our best to help her through her grief, and rejoice when she is enjoying our family. We pray the joy will outlast the hard times in weeks and months to come. 

If we haven't talked to you or called since we returned, know that each day we are surviving. We continue to ask for prayers as we go day by day. You can always call. If i don't answer it isn't because i don't like you, im just busy with something at the moment. Don't give up on us. This adjustment period can be very lonely. We want to get back to "normal" but the thing is, we are creating a new normal. We are emotionally overwhelmed and most days i feel so drained, i go to bed and weep. God is my strength and i know He has great plans for us. Growth hurts, is tiring, but the outcome is worth it.